Lockdown Experiment for a 50 year old CONTINUES!!
It been a good too many weeks of of not putting ink to pen and I have no excuse except that I have been busy AND REALLY I have sat down many times but the words were just not inking themselves onto the page...
So to break the cycle, I practised more yoga and meditation, did more research on and around my favourite topics of which I have many (being a jack of all trades) and generally had a wonderful time...but something came into clear focus that inside me I wanted to be an expert in something.
Because experts are admired and held in high esteem be it Brian Cox for quantum physics, David Attenborough for nature and the wild, Adele for her voice, Dame Judy Dench for her acting or Iyenghar for his yoga.....people always recognise and know the expert but it is a unique coincidence if anyone knows the name of the person behind this expert who is pivitol in sorting/organising/assisting all this "expert..ism"...
I wanted to be loved and admired and petted and "what a brilliant person I am..."
My want of this piece of this admiration action, NEEDED ME TO BE an expert at something and no matter how hard I tried or worked, I always came up short!!!
When after years of pursuing this, always doing a bit of this and that and other, to get funding to become an expert at something, I asked the questions of myself:
why am I doing something that is so totally alien to my nature and does not make any use of the my natural skills and abilities?
ANSWER - STUPIDITY
what if I change and harness my natural skills and abilities?
ANSWER - Hallelujah!!!!!
what is my natural skill and ability?
ANSWER - doing this and that, putting things together...
but no one will know me, no admiring fans, no "you're great..."
ANSWER - DOES IT MATTER WHEN THE ONLY ONE YOU HAVE TO PLEASE IS YOU?
AND SO WITH THIS I DISCOVERED, I CAN PLEASE MYSELF, I DON'T HAVE TO WORK SOOOOOO HARD, I LOVE THE FREEDOM OF NOT BEING AN EXPERT - I AM A JACK OF ALL TRADES AND MASTER OF NONE - just like this Swiss army knife!
So with this, I am going to continue with my lockdown experiment for a few more weeks yet, I did not get to do all the things I needed to do....
Credit & Talent
Thank you to all the talent below which made this post so good!
Image 1 - swiss army knife - OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay